Letting Your Spouse Know You Want a Divorce

Letting Your Spouse Know You Want a Divorce

If you are ready to move on with your life and part ways from your spouse, letting them know about your feelings can be terrifying. You may or may not be sure how they will respond, but either way, it’s probably not going to be received without having a difficult conversation. Rarely is it an easy thing to do, but when you’re ready, it’s better to inform your spouse in a way that minimizes further damage.

Loop in a lawyer to help you.

You may think that slowly pulling away from your spouse may be the kinder, gentler approach to getting a divorce. But usually, it isn’t, and may only cause more harm in the long run. Once you have decided that a divorce is a path for you, consult with a lawyer for guidance and support.

Find the right words and be genuine.

It’s good to have an idea of what you’re going to say before the conversation arises. If you haven’t planned out much thought, then you may go blank and have a harder time articulating yourself once face-to-face with your spouse. Get right to the point, but be compassionate.

Choose an appropriate time and place.

Don’t inform your spouse about your desire for a divorce when they are in the middle of dealing with something else, or while running late. Set aside time that is private, and avoid telling your spouse when children or other people are around. Your spouse will need time and space to react and have their own emotions. 

Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes.

Each person is unique, and how they may respond will depend on that individual. If your spouse acts out or is very emotional, remember to put yourself in their shoes. This doesn’t mean you should put up with hurtful or abusive behavior, but their intensity stems from heartache, and chances are you have already spent time emotionally moving on, while they are just beginning.

As our family law lawyer friends from Farkas & Crowley, P.A understands, telling your spouse you want a divorce can be one of the most difficult conversations you will have. But, once you know, it’s better to get things going sooner instead of dragging out more pain for your partner.